New York City is Lonely

People tend to get the idea that you can't possibly be lonely in a city like this. People think that because you might be a Native New Yorker that you're outgoing and have friends everywhere and go to bars and sit on rooftops watching stars and meet beautiful strangers on trains. I don't doubt that for some people it's like that, but for most of the people I've met, this isn't the case at all.

Hunter College Skybridge; click for source

I've noticed that New Yorkers have somewhat of a hard time communicating with each other, and when someone takes the opportunity to speak to you, we think of it more as a threat. "Why is this stranger smiling at me?" "This guy is trying to talk to me I better look down and speed up." Stranger danger and all that. I go to Hunter College and people tend to not really speak to each other there either. We all sit there, looking sullen and bored, and what I've found out by talking to people is that everyone wants to talk, but we're all just waiting for someone else to initiate conversation. I don't think school or childhood general prepares you for socializing beyond those stages. When you're younger, anyone will talk about anything and pretend they're experts on subjects.

Get ready to go to school and become emotionally crippled by loneliness
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But as you get older, you become quieter. You overthink more and feel the pressure of judging eyes. You might be afraid of being ignored or your thoughts ruled out. I spoke a lot in my English class this past semester and it made me feel more confident. People were interested in my thoughts, and because I spend so much time thinking about certain things, I tend to have more to say on these subjects. It put me out of my comfort zone in the best way possible. My friend introduced me to some of her friends and I had a very easy time talking to them in comparison to how I would have felt just six months prior.

For all I know a stranger could have fallen in love with me on a train and I wouldn't know because when they try to approach me I snub them. What a crazy thought. Reminds me of someone on tumblr saying to feel good about yourself because as you're outside minding your own business, people you don't notice are intrigued by you and want to know you and momentarily fall in love with you, etc. I think how often I do the same to others, how I want to know their story and favorite color and dislikes. I think about how often I see someone who makes my heart speed up for that moment. It wouldn't be entirely insane to assume that others do the same to me. That's cool.

Gabriella